Just When We Thought...

Just when we thought we transitioning from babies and preschoolers to much easier, more manageable "school-age" kiddos...just when I thought about taking on more hours at work..., just when we thought this might be the year we begin to catch up on finances...Just as we began to get in our comfort zone... GOD BEGAN!

"I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Little did I know that this year God would challenge us more that we have ever been challenged. Put us on a journey that could only be directed by Him and begin a work in us that is so much greater than anything in us. What an awesome amazing God!

Happiness vs Contentment

All my life I have always heard that becoming a Christian is not a guarantee of happiness in our lives. This is something I know and am aware of, but sometimes I get so frustrated that I feel defeated in many areas of my life as a Christian. As I have struggled with this over and over again in my Christian walk, I have come to realize that perhaps I am confusing happiness with contentment. When I think of happiness, it seems that happiness is an emotion. Emotions come and go, overwhelm us, sometimes drive our actions and our thinking. An emotion is not something that we can will ourselves to be. I cannot make myself not feel sadness, fear, or despair, just as I cannot will myself to be happy in certain situations. I can pray for God to help me control those emotions when they do come, but I have little control about those emotions coming and going in my life.

In contrast, contentment--although sometimes confused with an emotion is not really a feeling at all. It is more a state of mind. In Philippians, Paul doesn't talk about happiness, he talks about contentment. Contentment is not something that we just naturally feel, such as happiness, fear, sadness, it is something that is learned. Therefore we must work to be content. Despite our best efforts we may not be able to control negative emotions or a lack of happiness in our lives, but if we learn to be content, we are able to have peace in all circumstances ...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. Phil 4:11. Wow! I would much rather have God's promise of peace and contentment than to hope that I can keep the emotion of happiness flowing in my life.

As I get older, many of my ideas about the future are a little different that what I had planned. Sometimes I just cannot feel happy about those circumstances. What a relief it is knowing that we don't have to strive to "feel" happy in our circumstances. We just have to strive to "be" content in our circumstances. Emotions are going to come and go--some days we will be happy, some days we will be sad--God knows that---He created those emotions in us. I need to stop worrying about emotions that I do or don't have about a situation and focus on my state of mind. The call for all of us to BE CONTENT in all circumstances. Emotions are a part of life and sometimes, many times we cannot control emotions that come and go in our lives. What I can control is my relationship with my Heavenly Father, who wants me to continually seek contentment in my live and not to be discouraged or defeated when the emotion of happiness is not always how I feel in many of life situations!


Maybe instead of Don't worry, Be Happy.... we should say Don't worry, Be content!

A Lesson on Temptation

God used a little incident with E to teach me this week.

We were over at my mom's after church this Sunday. All the cousins were over and they wanted to know if they could put on their swim suits and pretend like they were going swimming. Note: we have cousins next door that have a pool, but being the middle of Sept, I am just over the pool, and ready for fall. The kids of course asked if they could go swimming, but we told them that they could not go. All the other cousins were happy playing in the driveway with bike, scooters, wagons, etc, but not E. He really, really wanted to go swimming. Meanwhile, the cousins that own the pool did go swimming. (Their grandfather, my uncle was at the pool watching them and I knew this. I would never have been so lax if there had been no adult at the pool) E continued throughout the course of the day to beg to go swimming, and I would tell him no.

About 30 minutes later, E came and ask me if he could go down to our cousins and ride bikes with them. I told him that I didn't care but once again reminded him that he was not to go swimming. Needless to say, about 15 minutes later as we were loading up the van , Z had to go get E out of the pool. He had gotten in and went swimming with his cousins. Z and I were not surprised, and of course he was punished.

My Uncle later relayed the story to me from his perspective. E first came up to the pool and sat in the chair. Of course K and B, my cousins swimming ask him to get in. He immediately told them that his daddy said he could not get in. A few minutes later, he was at the edge of the pool watching, (remember, he has his swim suit on) and before long he was in the pool playing.

E fell into temptation because he got too close. His other cousins never left the driveway at my mother's house. They all wanted to go swimming, but E left the safety of the driveway went closer and closer to the pool and before he knew it he was in swimming.

That is what happens when we fall into sin. We allow ourselves to go too close, instead of staying in the safety of God's comfort and provision. As I get older, my temptations are different than when I was young but I still fall into them the same way. I allow myself just to listen to gossip that is hurtful, then I get closer and maybe have just one comment, then I get closer and before long I have jumped right in. Or with my relationship with my husband. I get angry. Then I move closer and I speak to him in anger, then I move closer and I act on my anger and before I know it I have jumped right in to a huge hateful, hurtful argument that should not have been. Or... maybe I am just going to turn on the TV (or computer) and see what is on. Then I get closer, and I am just going to watch that show for 5 min. Before I know it I have jumped right in and been on the computer or TV for hours, neglecting my family and my responsibilities.

Father, help me to be so conscious of sin that I would stay far away from it. I want to be content in the driveway and not even go near the pool.The closer E got to the pool, the more he was tempted. The closer we get to sin, the harder it is to resist. That is why the Bible tells us to flea temptation. Father help me to run from temptation, especially where I am and weak and run to you.

My reason for not letting E go swimming was really selfish, I did not want to the pool, and get all hot and sweaty. But we can rest assured that God has our best interest at hand when he tells us not to do something. He has an eternal reason, and it is definitely much better than not wanting to get hot and sweaty at the pool..

I Am Thankful

I am sitting here on the couch. It is Friday night, Z and the kids are snuggled in the bed upstairs (we have an early soccer game tomorrow morning). I just finished a very busy day at work, and am a little tired. I missed the kids today and wished our together time could have been longer. Z worked a long day, but was able to pick up S who was spending some quality time with her grandmother. Z's mom also sent us home a wonderful meal, still warm from the oven, that we devoured in about 10 minutes. E and M had a fun filled day playing at my mom's with the cousins. When I look back over the day, I am thankful. Sometimes I would love to be a stay at home mom, but I am thankful I have a great job and wonderful family to look after my children when I work. Sometimes my husband works long hours, but I am thankful he is such a hard worker and goes above and beyond to provide for us. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with the business of 3 kids going in 3 different directions, but I am thankful for those children and cannot imagine life without them. Sometimes I wish I did not have to depend on my family so much, but I am thankful for my family and so glad to have them close. It is just nice to sit back, reflect on the day, count my blessings and be THANKFUL

Those Moments...

Last Wednesday night at church I had one of those "moments" I would rather forget. After totally losing it with my kids (at chruch), I came home put the kids to bed, cried, prayed, journaled (this did not get posted), and feeling defeated I went to bed. The next morning I felt better, with new energy and determination I made a chore list for the kids and had a family meeting "we are going to do things different" was the theme. We were devoted to this for about 2 days and now 1 week later, the chore list is old news on the refrigerator and we are back to the same old struggles.

I just come back to the same conclusions. Life is hard! Raising children is hard! I think harder than I ever imagined. Sometimes Zach and I will have those days when we think, "What have we gotten ourselves into?" Please do not misunderstand what I am saying. I love my children more than I ever knew I could love someone or something. I think that is just it, never has something mattered more in my life, never have a had a passion about anything more than I have passion about my children. Children just bring out raw emotion, because we love them with everything we have in us.

All this to say that --oh how I need the Lord, not just to know about Him or of Him, but to intimately know Him every day. How I need to depend on Him for every decision. How I need to go to Him when I am frustrated with life and how hard it is. Oh how easy it is not to do this.
How satan wants to steal my joy and make me uneffective. How he wants me to think "I cannot do this, I am not a good mom, I am miserable with my kids, or I have got the most difficult kids in the world!!!" All these are lies that Satan uses on me when I am not seeking the Lord daily!!!

As I watch my children, I see them constantly wanting to be independent. To do things on their own and to seek their own way. When I think of my relationship with God I see how easy it is to slip back into this mindset. It comes to us naturally. We have to work against this, to seek total dependence on God, for Him to guide us daily.

As I look at the old chore list on the fridge, God is telling me, quit worrying about specifics with the kids, what you are doing, not doing. It is not about getting it exactly right, or about making all the right parenting decisions. It is about totally depending on me, trusting me with every decision, praying for my children and for myself as I try to show my kids my relationship with Christ.



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Everyday that I spend with my children, I am learning more and more about the Lord. It is strange how that happens. I guess the Lord knows that mommies don't have hours and hours for Bible Study and scripture meditation, so He teaches us things in everyday life. As we love our children He teaches us about His love. As we discipline our children, He teaches us about His discipline. As we worry endlessly about our children, their health, their future, their happiness, He teaches us to have faith, trust in Him and know that He is in control. I feel that I have these great revelations from God in everyday life when I am dealing with my kids and then in the craziness of life, I never get them written down. My mommy brain soon forgets them and I cannot apply them to my life because they are gone from me. I am journaling those thoughts so I can remember things that God reveals to me. It is so humbling to think that the God of the universe, would chose to teach me things, just because he loves me!! I certainly want to take everything He teaches me and treasure it in my heart and live by it.